Don't Give Up

R, as you rejoice solemnly in this Festival of Lights, remember and reflect on the spirit of the festivity itself, that light can prevail over darkness, the good can triumph over the evil.

Keep fighting. Don't give up.

Wishing you and your family a joyful Diwali.

Fly Away

W must have like 12 billions butterflies in his stomach. His veins were all tied in dead knots that were impossible to undo, his head were a sloshing and dizzying turbulence, his feet were icy cold and his hands were all jittery as if he was high on meth. His speech was reduced to such a slur of almost incomprehensible sounds.

W was beyond stressed out. He could hardly crack the faintest smile, as his elaborate and colorful Javanese-Sumatran-Banjar style wedding to his beautiful and graceful wife-to-be, D, was barely days away. Oh yeah, no wonder he could not smile!

The 2-day wedding festivities were full of traditions and highly symbolic. First day were the showers for the going-to-weds. Separately, both the bride and the groom had the first sprinkle of water gently splashed to them by the respective parents at the exact same moment. Thanks to the count down via mobile phones. Later that night was the bachelor night rated G at W’s place, loads of singing and food. Then the second day was the big day with the lavish wedding ceremony and the opulent reception at night, attended by hundreds of guests.

Throughout the 2-day affair, there was a particularly poignant moment. After the morning prayers on the shower day, W knelt in front of his parents. Solemnly, in simple but moving words he gave thanks to his parents for their love and upbringing, he proudly announced his plan to get married then humbly asked for his parents’ blessing and finally he sought forgiveness from his folks for all his wrong doings.

Half kneel and half crawl, he then moved forward to his father, kissed him and embraced him. Next to his mother, he kissed her and embraced her, then put his forehead on her laps. She bent down placing her hands and head on W’s shoulder. She was crying. At that moment W lost it. His nose turned red and quickly followed by his eyes. His throat turned lumpy and choked. They locked in such gentle embrace, like forever. It was truly powerful, intense and emotional, one of those moments that split one’s life into before and after. With that blessing and embrace they gave away their only son (In Javanese tradition the groom live with the bride in her family after marriage). From then on, W was all grown up, leaving home and starting a family of his own.

Congratulations W.

All the best, D.

Wedding Dinner

Chinese wedding reception is normally quite a drag. As the concept of time does not apply on these occasions, everyone is fashionably late. There are too much pomp and pageantry like food presentation (Just serve the god damn food, I’m bloody hungry!) and video presentation. God forbid there might be karaoke! Some guest who has a couple too many and decides to do the drunken rendition of some sappy love songs. Oh what a torture that is. Finally the saving grace, the nine-course meal for which everyone is there for (yeah I know, aside from celebrating the couple’s holy union), turns out to be the last straw to seal the failure of the evening ceremony.

Sometime in last December I went home to attend wedding reception. It was the wedding banquet of a secondary school close friend, SH. (Damn, another one got away!) I braced myself for the worst as I headed into the restaurant.

The guests filed in slowly and of course, late. By the time everyone was seated, we were already half an hour behind schedule. Then the happy couple made their grand entrance. The deafening music score of the Japanese cartoon Doremon cued them in. That was romantic! The first course was finally served and the chatty chatter earlier was now replace with clanking of cutleries as well as the sound of the guests gorging and chewing rather violently. It must be said here indeed the food was decent, it was very good in fact. Yummy. The worst was about to come. Yes, someone actually climbed up the stage and started the drunk belching. Later so did the groom, professing his undying love to SH through a gooey number.

But at the end of the evening, I found myself actually enjoyed it. I even did not mind the karaoke! There was an underlying sense of simplicity, warmth and intimacy throughout the reception. It was very welcoming and homey. Everyone was please to be there and everyone was there to celebrate the nuptials with joy and love.

First when they greeted me at the entrance, we actually got to catch up on what’s new in our lives and walk down memory lane a bit. We had a laugh there and then. SH looked gleaming and natural and comfortable. No crazy big hair, no inches thick of make up and not bogged down by an elaborate gown.

As funny and irrelevant as they walked in accompanied by a cartoon tune, to me the happiness and joy of that moment was overwhelming. SH and the husband simply walked in holding hands with gleaming smiles. They are happy that they were in this together. And together we were happy for them, as they have found each other.


Highlight of the evening perhaps was when the newlyweds and the parents went from table to table receiving toast from the guests. At each table they shared endearing stories of SH when she was a baby or a toddler. Then, the father of the bride proudly introduced the son-in-law to everyone. Hand shakes and hugs, followed by raising the glasses and the rowdy calls of yum seng (cheers in Chinese) and jolly laughter.

Last but not least, the food was scrumptious. We cleaned up every single dish served. It was really tasty. Yummy.

An evening of celebration of love, with good company, warm ambience, intimate setting, delightful feast, endless laughter and free flowing booze. How could anyone not have a ball?

Congratulations again my friend. All the best.

High

EJ took the plunge last August. Last Wednesday I met her at the gym for the first time since her officially becoming a missus. She told me she just came back from her honeymoon in Australia.

Giddily she was yakking away about her honeymoon. Her story was so heavily glazed with the sugary sweetness that I bet she has been rinsing her mouth with honey and corn syrup. EJ was radiant with this post honeymoon glow. It was almost blinding! But I could still see her lips curling up sheepishly every time she talked about her life as Mrs. B. Her eyes sparkled with joy but shrouded with this dopey dreaminess. She dashed off; no she floated away, as the husband was coming to fetch her home. Well she shouldn’t be driving anyway as she was totally loaded. She was certainly high on something.

Whatever she is on, I sure as hell want some, ASAP!

Oh boy, marital bliss is highly infectious.

Curve Ball

Last Friday was an extra happy one as a close friend, S emailed me that she’s about 6 weeks pregnant. “Wow!” I could hardly contain myself from jumping for joy and hollering yahoos in the office. Somehow I managed, but it was no easy feat.

The baby excitement was leaping and spewing out from the screen. Her husband, D was already talking about decorating the baby room, planning which route to take to the hospital when the baby is ready to pop, etc. Without knowing the sex of the baby, D had bought the baby a stuffed toy. She signed off the email with S + D + "little grape". How adorable?

Of course there was talk about baby’s names. They were set to name the kid after his grandfather if it’s a boy. If it turns out to be a girl, they would be scratching their heads. Hence they were asking for suggestions. I happily obliged and hoped that they'd use them.

That email just made my day!

Yesterday afternoon I got another email from her. She had a miscarriage during the night. “Oh no!!!” This time I could not contain my sadness and grief. My heart just sank into a bottomless pit. I wanted to cry.

The whole situation just sucks. They must be devastated. I was stunned and I did not know what to say or do. As a friend, I felt helpless. How painful it is to face these life changing experiences in such a short time, I could not even begin to imagine. I replied her email and said a prayer for them.

One thing I’m certain is that S is a strong and determined woman. She is always calm and composed catching any curve ball thrown at her or picking up those hit her. As she is recuperating now, she had already called family and emailed friends about the abrupt end of her pregnancy. She is crushed and disappointed about this sad episode but she refuses to let this haunts her. Together with D they will move on with chin up high.

Rereading her email this morning, I saw her strength and resilience to forge ahead. She will come out of this stronger and braver. I know she will.

Farewell Lavi

It’s going to be a somewhat gloomy weekend. A dear friend is going away, far, far away. She’s leaving for Norway for work.

Parting is never easy. It takes enormous courage to pick up yourself, leave all things near and dear to you behind and head on to face the uncertainties ahead, alone. As a clean break is impossible, you carefully rummage through your life, searching for that something, small enough to fit in your suitcase but big enough to hold the love from home. Perhaps a picture, a book or even a song. It will hopefully give you a sense of familiarity in the foreign land.

At the same time, the anticipation and excitement are just as overwhelming. Imagine after about 12 hours or so of shut eye onboard the flight (and I hope you are one of those who could sleep on the plane), you wake up to a new time zone, new weather, new people, new environment, literally a whole new world! Isn’t that exciting? Limitless wonderful possibilities await you at the other side of the world. Isn’t that something to look forward to?

Farewell stirs up a lot of emotions and even more extreme spectrums of emotions. So I hope you do leave with tears welling up in your eyes, a big fat grin slapping over your face, a strong resolution resting in your heart, calmness surrounding your head and tingling excitement tickling all over your skin.

If you don’t, a couple of glasses of the in flight Champagne will do the trick!

All the best, Lavi.