Monday, July 25, 2011


Since dusk, the wind has been wailing relentless and loudly outside my window. Violently it stirred up the dust. I could smell the dust thick in the air, earthy and parched. Another sand storm brewing?


Lately, a question too stirring up an unsettling storm in my head: Alone living a life in solitude or together sharing a life in silence?

Help me.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Raining in Khartoum

Lately, I'm angry, all the time. The fuse is short and thin. The tiniest thing would set me off on a rampage within. The unsent email, the pending report, the traffic, the long queue at the grocery, the dishes in the sink. There's just something and someone flipping me mad. There's this dark clouds, gloomy and heavy above my head. I spent the weekend mopping over this raging state of mind. Even thinking of it fuel the rage, putting crazy thoughts in my head. I wanted stiff drinks to put out the rage. I felt like smoking.

It was very taxing emotionally. I was very tired.

Then it rained. Well it was not the first time I saw rain in scorching Khartoum, but it rained so hard. The wind was howling and the rain was pelting down in torrents. It rained so hard that it cut off half of the city's power. I looked out the window to an almost pitch black city, listening to the rain hammering it down.

That was calming, almost hypnotic. The rain washed away the dust that I could see that I was fuming mad over something and someone beyond my control. There's simply nothing I can do about it, other then just wait and see. Let it run it's own course.

As hard and heavy was the rain, it would stop, eventually.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Somewhere Over...

Abu Dhabi


Kuala Lumpur

Saturday, July 16, 2011


Plan was laid out to bake last weekend. Ingredients bought and recipe downloaded. I was pretty psyched about it. But then shits happened. Firstly marathon meeting over the weekend (so WTF!). Next, I actually ate almost half of my star ingredient, fresh apricots (hehe). Well next week then!

This time around I double bought the fresh apricots, as well as getting some dried ones, just in case I go on another apricot binge. So this afternoon, I made this fresh apricot cake. It's called Aprikosenkuchen in German. Gingerly the recipe was followed to the t, as I never baked this or tasted this before. No idea on how the batter consistency should be and wandered if the fresh apricots would be exploding mid way baking.
30 minutes into the baking I took a peek. It turned me gleefully happy with the cake puffing up graciously and turning into gloriously golden. And the fragrance of the cake just filled up my kitchen, spilling into the living room. Oh how intoxicating!

The cake was simply delightful. The surface slightly crusty (maybe I over baked it a tad) and the inside wonderfully soft and fluffy and moist from the fresh apricots. The tartness of the apricots balanced nicely with the sweet cake. Holy yumminess!

This one is in the bag. I've got another winner cake in my repertoire, and in my stomach.

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Lock Down

Today, my capital city, KL is locked down to quell the people from taking it to the streets, rallying for a better, freer and cleaner future.

Here in Khartoum, we too, are locked down today within our housing enclave, in anticipation of the rumored unrest in conjunction with the birth of the newest nation in the world, South Sudan. South Sudan successfully split from the north and gain independence today.

While I stayed in as advised by our security officers, I'm glad and inspired to see so many of my fellow countrymen by the tens of thousands, braving the streets, peacefully and fearlessly.

A friend asked me what would this demonstration achieve anyway. Probably, nothing immediately.

But, it's a show of solidarity of the people. It's a time to make a point across (whatever the point is). It's a declaration of love for the country. It's a step in the right direction. It's a start of a long and hard journey of change.

Well done you all.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Unpleasant Surprise

My friend R told me that she's separated.

Oh my...

Absolutely stunned, I was speechless for a moment. I could still recall vividly I made a trip up north with VR to her wedding 2 years ago.

2 years ago!

Why is marriage in our generation is so fragile? What happens to for better or worse? Are we throwing in the towel too hastily? Are we too weak will to weather the storm? Is commitment such a disposable thing? Is this the peril of fast food culture?

It must not been an easy decision. I can only imagine her struggles before coming down to this, ending her marriage. But then again, why being together if misery replaces happiness in the relationship? What is the point of staying married if the bond and trust and love are no longer there?

My parents are married for about 40 years, and counting. Happily? Honestly I could not remember if they had ever expressed in any way that they are happy together.

Perhaps separation is for the better for both of them.

R, be strong. This too shall pass.

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Overheard #19

"It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it." ~Aung San Suu Kyi

They ban and prohibit the people from wearing yellow now and arresting those wearing yellow. Can you see how insecure and how fearful they are?

But the way, I think our Thai neighbor must be laughing at us now.

Friday, July 01, 2011

Overheard #18

"Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are" ~possibly Bill Gates.

I can almost hear Mom reminiscing her adventures in Singapore when she was young, single and ready to mingle. She would be having a grand time betting in the race track, dining and chattering away with her girl friends in coffee house, dancing and clubbing the night away. She was having fun, a time of her life.

Now she had done taking care of us kids, she is taking care of my ailing Dad.

I must appreciate that we may not see eye to eye on most of the things in life. I must appreciate that we are from different generations. I must appreciate that we have different sets of values and outlook.

Most importantly, I must appreciate her.