Sunday, May 01, 2011

Questions of the Day

Today, I turn 35. Life still as unexpected and complicated and challenging as it is, as it always been. Many a times when I thought I get a grip on it, when I thought I was standing tall and firm, the rug was pulled off underneath my feet. It's not fun falling flat on my ass, after all I'm 35 now. Curve balls come flying at break-neck speed left right and center, hitting me in the face. Ouch, not in the face!

Moving to Africa is a giant leap into the abyss of unknown. While it was exciting, it is also daunting to live and work in a new and foreign setting: people, cultures, language and weather. Truth be told, doubts still linger over my head as to whether I'm cut out for it. I absolutely did not foresee I question myself over this as frequently.

At long last I bought my own place. My bachelor pad? I'm not too sure about it either. Entering an age when my peers are building careers, taking the plunge, raising kids or even burying parents, that cornered me into evaluating my outlook on life. Or is that succumbing to peer pressure? How long can I hold this current state of my (so-called) life? Or should I?

And what happen to my dreams? There are still there, I suppose. But am I getting any closer to reaching them? At times I laugh off the youthful ideals of the youngsters. What do you snotty face know about life? I would snickered at them. Well then, what do I really know about life anyway. Deep down inside, I'm secretly admiring and envious of their reckless courage and brutal honesty.

Today, I turn 35. Many questions remain unanswered. And many more questions popped up, still popping up.

Oh, I still have not completed a marathon by 35.

Happy birthday to me.


MyLittleDay said...

happy birthday.

K said...

You know it is never too late to do anything with your life :) Miss you Boon and always will. You somehow have captured my heart in ways I don't know if I will ever get a chance to show. In anycase, I hope that you had a wonderful day on your birthday last month and too many many more to come.
P.S. "The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." - Lucille Ball
Although I don't really agree with lying about the age bit as age is only a number. It's all about how one feels ;)
Love K.