Smile

Normally, I don't put on a smiley face while going about my daily chores, be it making coffee at the pantry, getting lunch, grocery shopping or working out in the gym. So, people who do not know me think that I'm an arrogant bastardy ass.

But people who know me can attest to how warm and friendly I am (I hope). They still think I am an ass though, but a warm and friendly ass.

Note to self: I must smile more, so that people who know me and people who do not know me would think I am a warm and friendly ass.

Now, smile!

Heaven on Earth

This picture was taken awhile ago during a hike at Bukit Tabur. I have been working and reworking on it for awhile too, cropping, adjusting contrast and saturation, turning it into B&W for more dramatic effect etc. But something is missing, and I can't put my finger on it. I love the piercing rays through the morning mist. The harshness of the light and the softness of the mist, very balancedly blended, very complementary, very ying and yang. The surrounding was calm and quiet yet I was moved tremendously, stirring up such great emotion of awe and admiration. I could not help it but feeling humbled by the quiet greatness of power in the view and the elements.

Looking at it now, it feels like heaven on earth. And my mind is drifting back to the morning when I was crampping in an old rickety bus trodding along the windy bumpy road in the northern mountains in Laos, from Luang Prabang to Vang Vien. Looking out at the view outside the window then, it simply took my breathe away.

I remember telling myself :"This is heaven on earth. If there was such a place as heaven, that would be how the place look like."

Overheard #9

A Smart car zoomed past along the highway.

"Hey look, Smart car!"

"But stupid driver."

Smart car, perhaps it's made for stupid driver. Looking at the driving, it makes sense, perfect sense.

Beautiful Windows

The image above was captured on a lazy evening at home some weeks ago. It was as if I have got stain glass window. It reminds me of the amazingly beautiful real ones I saw (and captured) at Notre Dame de Paris.

Passion of a Mom

These are passion fruits. I love them to bits, the sweet tangy juicy flesh with crunchy seeds, very refreshing. Then there is the delightful aroma, a floral, sweet and fruity scent. I always take a good whiff of the fruit before cutting it open and scoping them golden juicy flesh into my mouth. I find it very intoxicating.

These were the remaining few from the big bag that mom bought me. She knows how much I love them. So every time I go home she will buy them for me to take them back to KL. Mom used try, emphasis on try, stuffing my bags and my car with vegetables and fruits and meat and fishes and coffee and detergent and this and that, because those were either fresher or cheaper, or both compared to whatever is available to me in KL. I think those live away from home can relate to this easily. But she was not really successful at that in the past. We both know very well why we do what we do.

Now she only gets me passion fruits. She found my weakness and she’s exploiting it, big time!

Ma I love you.

Happy Birthday

For you. Happy birthday. 

I know it's a bit of a spoiler. But I have more. So, keep an eye out for the mailbox. 

Dancing Lights

It was a quiet evening. I was lounging on the couch watching DVD on my MacBook. I was lazy. I didn't want to use my brain, so I watched some mindless series. I didn't want to move a muscle, hence the lying down. 

Then, I noticed the setting sun splashed wonderfully warm colors of yellow and orange on my living room wall. I loved the soft lights playing on the wall, bouncing off cheerfully or dancing away gracefully. It was very soothing, captivating, almost hypnotizing, as I simply staring at it for quite awhile. I then dragged my ass off the couch, got my camera, and actually used my brain to organize an interesting composition and releasing the shutter with clicks of my index finger. 

33

For my birthday this year I went for a long drive too. Actually it was my sister doing the driving, while I comfortably and leisurely parked my ass on the passenger seat, yakking away. Hey I was keeping her awake for the long road trip. We were heading home for the long weekend, for a wedding banquet and a birthday bash, of which both were not mine.

Back when I was young, I mean really really young, I had this perception of 30s would be a wonderful period in a man’s life. School is out of the way. Career is built progressively. At the same time, commitments are piling up steadily too: mortgage, car loan plus whatever gadgets and toys. But financially, a 30 something would be stable and independent. Emotionally, he would probably be done playing the field and be in a steady relationship with the love of his life. Next up would be the taking the plunge and then later making juniors. Simply, life is sweeeeet. I couldn’t wait to join the club.

Of course, truth hurts (like getting kicked at your balls continuously) and reality is cruel and life is a bitch.

You see, I’m so not living the sweet life. OK, I have a job (thankfully in the current economic climate) but I’m not sure if it’d be my career, and it certainly not progressing fast enough. I’m driving a 20 plus years-old ancient junk car. No house, no gadget, no toys. Emotionally, I’m now pathetically single. Well, I never imagined myself getting hitched before 35. But looking at how pathetically single I am at the moment, I’d be lucky if I could get some kind soul to take pity on me before 40.

I suppose the silver lining is that I’m financially stable and independent. Coupled with the fact that I have almost zero commitment, I can take off at my whim and fancy to explore other things in this supposedly sweet life. I once desired traveling around the world, living it large on the road. It’s not exactly an original dream and rather a predictable one, I guess I could serve my 3-month notice and hitting the happy trail in August.

A new career, perhaps, doing something completely different, like starting a business. Once I was evaluated by a talent resource consultant as someone who would excel in sales and marketing. But, what to sell? What to market?

What about moving/migrating to a new country? Starting anew anonymously in a new place with new people, can both be just as exciting and fearful at the same time. A new beginning as such is electrifying. And I like fear, as a really effective motivator, pushing one to the edge, to the new limit, to an alien territory and learn to survive and thrive. Now which country? Canada?

Going back to school might be another option. School? OK, maybe not.

It’s starting to look like the possibilities are stacking up not too shabby. It’s good to know that I have options. I like that. But what do I do? Decision, decision, decision.

Awhile back, a dear friend sent me an email asking me 2 questions:
“Question 1 to answer FIRST: Where is it I want to be in 20yrs from now?
Question 2: Are the things I am doing/choices RIGHT now going to get me there? How and Why?”

Looking at the questions, I realize my options are very present term. What about the future?

Darn it! Now I have to look 20 years ahead too!

Happy birthday to me.